Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
