Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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