The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
