I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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