stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
