Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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