I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
