People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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