i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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