There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
