please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
well most of my day revolves around power hour
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
