what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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