Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
