Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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