Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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