i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think I won the penis lottery.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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