At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
