no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
