If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
