I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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