Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You're a waste of cheezeits
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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