my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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