actually, I'm a sock model
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
