Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
