She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
