just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
