I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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