id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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