I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
