Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
