My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
