please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
