is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
