Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
