its not stalking. its research.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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