Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
