Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
