I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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