Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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