This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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