I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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