It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
