Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
