Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
