every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
