yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
