i think i have two assholes
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
