is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Liz is crying about burritos again.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
