Sponge bath it is.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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