I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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