just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
